Why me & why now?
As human beings we have a tendency to be creatures of habit. This doesn’t just apply to our behaviours it also applies to our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes. At times these beliefs and attitudes can be the reason we feel ‘stuck , or perhaps a sense of loss or being unfulfilled. When there is a defining moment, something that rocks our sense of stability, we ask the universal question of ‘why’.
Or, it’s simply a whispered word, which escapes through clenched teeth.
It is often at that moment of questioning that we start to ‘unravel’ emotionally. Everything becomes a challenge, things that didn’t affect us before, are now ‘major dramas’. We can lose focus, begin to withdraw, or respond with abruptness, or a ‘I couldn’t care less’ attitude. Stress levels start to rise, we feel tired, have ‘sudden’ aches and pains, and our thoughts drift aimlessly, swirling on the emotions and then settling like a truck load of bricks.
We then tend to look for an ‘out’. A new job, a new relationship, something exciting, anything, that will pull us from where we are. When our resources don’t support that change, or the inner circle of people begin to question and brush off our suggestions or disregard what we are feeling, the overwhelm kicks in.
So now not only are you questioning the ‘why’, and what should I do, you begin to doubt if you should be questioning anything at all or even looking at making a change.
It is often at this point, we hit crises mode. And we feel pushed or compelled to make changes. In that crises or ‘why’ moment, we tend to look for our purpose. The why I am here sort of questions. These moments can open up a floodgate of unanswered questions and thoughts that are random and seem to have no logical place to settle.
Let’s explore this a little.
If we consider ‘success’ as an example and the crises moment being ‘I feel I am unsuccessful or I have failed’. Obviously something has happened for those feelings and thoughts to reach the ‘I need to do something’ critical point. It may be a loss of income, you were overlooked for a promotion, a redundancy, or a teen who is breaking all the rules and driving you to distraction. Or, you may have compared your life, the things you do and don’t have, against another’s, and made a decision that they are more successful than you. Whatever the moment that brought you to that thought, you have decided (without conscious thought) that you are ‘less than’. It is from this place you begin to question, to ask the ‘why’, to doubt what you have done, the things you have achieved, your parenting skills, or your inability to acquire those things considered successful.
The ‘less than’ belief is subtle and hidden, however it is often the core belief that is held deeply. Thoughts of ‘I can’t’, ‘I will never be good enough’, why would any on want to work with me’,( to name a few), often hide the ‘less than’ belief.
Being ‘less than’ nestles comfortably in all that you do.
Exploring those thoughts, feelings and physical reactions is critical in being able to determine the steps to take, to move from where you are in that moment, to a place that is energised with action and clarity.
The truth is no one is ‘less than’, we are all unique, nothing that we have done or not done, changes the uniqueness of who we are. The talents and skills you have, are equal to others. They are not less than.
Acceptance is the key. Accepting all that you are, and all that you will be, with an expectation of change allows you to step into the fullness of who you are.